Why Is My Brain On High Alert?
Your brain won't shut off. You're feeling nervous and clammy, like you just want to be calm but it isn't possible. You've felt this way a lot and lately a lot more. It's awful. And often, everyone thinks you're fine.
But you're not.
Listen, let's be real, I'm not going to start this by saying there's absolutely nothing to ever worry about. That would be disingenuous. However there's a difference from the news and your everyday concerns to feeling a sense of dis-ease that's consuming you. You're hyper vigilant, you're assessing dangers everywhere you look, your mind won't stop. It just won't. Doesn't matter what you do.
You're experiencing anxiety.
It could be in social situations (social anxiety) or it could be just seemingly an overall feeling (Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD). Either way, to put it mildly it is not fun and it can really have an effect on your work life, how you feel in the world, and the relationships that matter most to you.
That's because if nothing else when we're feeling anxious it's a pretty tough ask to actually be present. It's because your brain, for lack of a better term, is kind of hijacked.
When is something going to go wrong? What is it going to be? How can I prepare for it so it doesn't go wrong? So I handle it well? Is anyone else worried? Why not?
Right and…
Were you ready for it? Prepared? You've thought of every single way something could fall through the cracks and in fact, perhaps a part of you is glad you're like this. You are someone who can claw your way like Spiderman out of a labyrinth with an angry vindictive, immortal supervillain that eats angels for breakfast mere breaths away from his sticky feet. You are someone who is good in an emergency because you saw it coming down the road when everyone else was just…
Not.
Paying.
Attention.
I get the pride. I get liking something about this but you wouldn't have read this far if you weren’t also kind of unhappy. You feel sick half the time and your doctor says it's not physical. You would like to relax. Take it easy as they say. You want to feel better. And logically you have to admit: you're not at war with the world. The war is inside your head.
First of all, can I just say THAT SUCKS! It really does. Anxiety is the worst. Because it's really fear of the unknown, fear of the future, fear that something is not right and you don't know what it is but you'll be ready for it!
I get it. I get the tight stomach/sleep disturbance/unable to be present/fatigue/jaw tightening/on edge feeling that just seems never ending — a train without a destination. It's not fair. And trust me, it's not lost on me that the world isn't making it much easier for you to calm all that down.
Help begins when you start recognizing you're experiencing anxiety but you are not an anxious person. You can call yourself that if you want to but languaging matters. If you say I am an anxious person it's like saying I am a mom. It's sort of a permanent identity.
Anxiety is experienced it's not who you are.
Along with that is you are experiencing it and you are SICK OF IT, am I right? Just know if your anxiety symptoms are up – perfectly normal – that means at one time they were not quite so "up." It means a part of you can experience life differently.
You can.
So how can I make my anxiety go away?
Great question! You can't. I'm sorry! I'd love to say differently but that's just the truth. Anxiety exists for all people. You are a human being and one of the things anxiety does is it asks us to assess danger. We're wired like that so the wooly mammoth won't enter the cave while those dum dums are getting their 20 winks in. BUT if you asked How can I address my anxiety so it's more manageable and less derailing because not everything is a life and death situation? Well, then my friend, we are cooking with gas.
A few things to suggest:
Always get checked out by your doctor. Make sure to rule out any causes of your physical symptoms that cannot be addressed through self-care, intention, and therapy.
Identify trigger points – people, places and things that activate that anxious feeling.
Knock out the dumb stuff! You heard me. You drink coffee at 6 at night? You scroll through social media before bed? You don't do any walking or physical exercise? You know what I'm talking about. There are some hygiene things that we do for our mental health because they work. I've seen the meme of the guy going for a walk for his "stupid mental health." It's funny but I'm glad he's on a walk. I bet it worked. The simplest lifestyle changes can make a huge difference!
Medication. Medication along with talk therapy can possibly help decrease some of the physical manifestations of anxiety which makes more room to focus on the deeper issues at the heart of your anxiety.
Yep! The "T" word. Therapy. I have worked with plenty of people regarding their anxiety. I had to deal with it in my own therapy (and it helped!). Anxiety is a real deal thing. It's one of the top reasons people go to therapy. In session we get out that which we're anxious about, we talk about what changes to put in place to decrease the invitation for anxiety to feed off us like mosquitos on a safari, and we find ways to ground, calm and accept anxiety will happen but it won't continue to keep us from living the life we love.
Honestly, you don't have to shoulder all of this alone. I don't think anyone should. You might be feeling anxious but if it's taken over it's time to demote its role in your world. You can feel better, especially if you're willing to do the work with someone who understands!
It is amazing what can happen when you feel heard.
If you're navigating anxiety and feel like you could use more support, I'm here. Contact me to learn more about anxiety therapy and how we can work through this together.
